Right now, if there's one thing that's dominating my life, it is fear. Fear of being inadequate. Fear of being everything I never wanted to be. Fear of taking the risk and finding that it was never worth it after all.
I had my fair share of ups and downs and although I know it's not right to let your troubles and concerns keep you down and hinder you from taking the extra mile, I always let those things get in the way --may it be with matters that involves the mind or the heart.
Before, I face head on whatever challenges that comes my way. No matter how beaten down I get, I managed to get out of it alive, win or lose. But I think because of all the battle scars and wounds that I got, now I get weary too fast. Hopefulness and optimism drains fast and I tend to retreat from battle during the first sign of helplessness. You can call it weakness or cowardice or whatever you want --but I call it fear. Fear of bringing harm to myself once again. Fear of being, yet again, vulnerable around my opponents and suffer defeat completely.
Now, if only I have enough courage once more... then...